The importance of seeing, hearing and remembering

Anna Chaplain Sheila Lyons

Sheila Lyons was commissioned as an Anna Chaplain in the Estuary and Mountain Mission Area in St Asaph’s, Denbighshire, North Wales, last year and she has been reflecting on her training:

'Recently, I was asked to contribute to a training programme for Pastoral Visitors in my Mission Area. With a background as a trainer and just over 12 months experience as an Anna Chaplain, I was pleased to accept. I was given a two-hour slot, so a reasonable chunk of time - I couldn’t get away with just a description of my role and answering a few questions!

I prayed about it and realised I needed to dig deep. What am I really and deeply learning about spiritual support for older people? What goes beyond turning up and applying good listening skills – as important as those things are?

I came up with three things that - for me – make all the difference:

1.     I See You

2.     I Hear You

3.     I Remember You.

When I’m in the room with an older person and I can muster at least one of these, I know the Holy Spirit is on the move.

I see Mr K when I pause for him to say the Lord’s Prayer in his own time - even though his speech impediment makes it seem exhausting and painfully slow. I see the gay couple when I make sure they get an invitation to our ladies get together. I see Mrs F when I ask her to write an article for our church newsletter so she still feels involved, although now housebound.

I hear Mrs B when she tells me about her former job working with young people. I take her a copy of a special prayer for youth-workers. She displays it on the mantelpiece and shows it to visitors. I hear Miss M when she expresses concern about the venue for her funeral. I take her photographs of the two churches she is considering so she can decide. I hear Fred, a care home resident, when he angrily tells me he considers St Paul ‘a false prophet’. I tell him I am rather fond of St Paul and then we move on to talk about his working life on the docks.

I remember Mrs H when I pop a little holding cross through her door the day after her dog passes away. She tells me she sleeps with it under her pillow. I remember the ladies in the care home when I take them a mini hand cream each for Mothers’ Day. In the care home, I have to work hard just to remember so many names. But I notice how good it feels when they remember my name, so I make the effort.

I think the training session went okay. As usual, I learnt as much from them as they, hopefully did from me. I am enjoying my second year as an Anna Chaplain, always open to more.'

Sheila Lyons, Anna Chaplain, Estuary and Mountain Mission Area, St Asaph Diocese

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