Helping the helpers of the bereaved

Advice for those giving advice comes in a user-friendly form from our friends at Time to Talk Befriending (TTTB) in Brighton. It is for the many people who listen to others and experience loss and sadness themselves.

During this pandemic those who have befriended or cared for others may find themselves bereaved and not coping as well as they thought they might.

Anna Chaplain, Emily Kenward, founder and Chief Executive of TTTB, sent us their latest factsheet on the topic of bereavement, saying she hoped it might be helpful to the Anna Chaplaincy network: 'There is so much out there already on the subject of bereavement and loss, but if it is useful please don’t hesitate to share it.'

It has been put together by Claire Godley, TTTB Trustee and volunteer at the bereavement charity, Cruse, and Charlotte Overton-Hart, Story Chaplain. Charlotte 'encourages everyday creativity and meaningful moments for people living with dementia, carers and everyone'.

The introduction to this new resource opens with these words:

However long you have known someone and whatever their age, the death of a friend can bring with it a range of feelings and emotions. You may have known your befriendee for a few months, or for a number of years. You may feel that there was still so much you didn’t know about them, or that you had become very close. You may have supported your befriendee through some tough times and perhaps their last illness. Everyone experiences grief differently. People often wonder if they are grieving in the ‘right way’ but there is no ‘normal’ or ‘right’ way to grieve. Whether your befriendee had been ill prior to their death or their death was sudden and took you by surprise, the impact of their loss will be felt as you grieve for this special person and the unique role you had in each other’s life. However you feel, it is important that you allow yourself time and space to process your loss. It is our hope that this resource will help you to reflect on the feelings you may be experiencing at this time. We hope that the content enables you to explore some ideas of how to help yourself and remember your befriendee, both now and into the future.

As with all TTTB resources, it is beautifully produced, easy to use and full of simple but profound ideas to put into practice.