Louise Morse’s latest blog contains top advice for communicating with people living with dementia. Drawing on a fund of good stories, she explains how the answers we give to often frequently repeated questions can dismay sometimes rather than engender confidence.
I liked this anecdote, especially (writes Debbie Thrower). Louise writes:
‘Home manager Janet Jacob told me of a resident who would empty every drawer in her room and pile the contents on her bed. It made extra work for the carer who had to put them back. But then Janet remembered that this resident had been the wife of a diplomat and had travelled frequently, so she put a suitcase in the room and the resident continued to unpack the drawers happily and put the contents neatly into the suitcase.’
‘It helps to be warm and positive’, adds Louise in her blog. ‘“When is my next appointment?” may really mean, “I’m anxious that I’ll forget the time of my next appointment and I’ll miss it.” The best answer isn’t simply to give the time of the appointment, but to add, “Don’t worry, I’m coming with you and I’ll make sure we get there on time.” Or, “When is my dad coming home from work?” when he’s been gone for many years, with, “You know how much your dad loves you! You told me he often works overtime.”
‘It is a joy when you “hit the right spot,” because you know you’ve built the person’s sense of well-being, and are giving the correct treatment for the condition. And don’t forget, when you’ve found the right answer you can repeat it again and again, and it will be as fresh to him or her as the first time you gave it. It’s all about love and reassurance.’
Louise Morse MA (CBT) is the media and external relations manager for the Pilgrims’ Friend Society.